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Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/24/2008 1:21:57 PM
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Marcus.
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FYI
By GRETEL C. KOVACH
Published: November 23, 2008
GRAPEVINE, Tex. — And on the seventh day, there was no rest for married couples. A week after the Rev. Ed Young challenged husbands and wives among his flock of 20,000 to strengthen their unions through Seven Days of Sex, his advice was — keep it going.
Mr. Young, an author, a television host and the pastor of the evangelical Fellowship Church, issued his call for a week of “congregational copulation” among married couples on Nov. 16, while pacing in front of a large bed. Sometimes he reclined on the paisley coverlet while flipping through a Bible, emphasizing his point that it is time for the church to put God back in the bed.
“Today we’re beginning this sexperiment, seven days of sex,” he said, with his characteristic mix of humor, showmanship and Scripture. “How to move from whining about the economy to whoopee!”
Story Continues
I'm just posting this for informational purposes not discussion per se.
< Message edited by Marcus. -- 11/24/2008 7:04:09 PM >
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/24/2008 5:50:35 PM
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karlie
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Attention: Moderator's Note:
I'm not sure what the actual discussion could be here that won't violate our TOS. Please remember that detailed discussions about sex, including your own experiences and expectations, are not permitted here in forums and if you are interested in discussing that, you will be directed to the link below. Thanks!
http://themarriagebed.com
Please do not reply to this message within the Community, or PM me regarding this message.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Sincerely,
Karlie
Forums Moderator
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/24/2008 6:58:54 PM
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Brandy
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I actually have to say I agree.
Physical Intimacy on a regular basis strengthens marriages and keeps them strong. Physical touch is healing, shared between a married couple it would make sense to keeping/helping maintain a marriage would mean physical touch/intimacy needs to be maintained.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/25/2008 4:37:57 PM
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buckifn
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If you are asking us to discuss whether or not the Pastor made a good choice by producing such a sermon topic...I am not sure...
but I do know one good thing that has happened in discussions I have heard about it- people who are not even saved have gotten wind of it and are using this to communicate more within their marriage and I think that is fantastic.
Has anyone else noticed that?
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/25/2008 7:14:06 PM
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myka
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Personally, I think that sometimes, we put too much pressure and expectations on one another to achieve a certain number of activities, etc. While I do agree that physical touch is important, I think that being understanding and loving one's spouse is more important than participating in a certain activity a particular number of times.
I wonder sometimes if our expectations have gotten skewed by our media saturation...
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 7:47:37 AM
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DaveW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
... if you are interested in discussing that, you will be directed to the link below. Thanks!
http://themarriagebed.com Hay Marcus - have you posted a link to that article at the marriage bed? Paul Byerly (the list owner) probably already knows about it but perhaps not. I know he is a big advocate of this very thing.
Tell him DaveW says Hi. (I have the same handle there as well)
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 7:51:06 AM
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buckifn
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quote:
I was just wanting to put this out there for folks to discuss among themselves in RL.
I am beginning to think that was 1 of his goals with this message too...and it is working. Communication is so critical in a marriage so I praise God He is using this man's message to help in that area.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 8:05:11 AM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: myka
I wonder sometimes if our expectations have gotten skewed by our media saturation...
Definitely! And I think that was this Pastor's point...we're falling for a counterfeit that's nowhere near as good as what God intended. I don't think "communication" is some miracle coming from this sermon and the attention it's gotten - unsaved people need Christ, saved people need to get their eyes back on Christ! We're looking for fluff (communication skills) in church when this is what we need. If anything is going to come from this I pray it's that He is glorified. Our lives and marriages, communication and all, would fall in line just fine if we got our eyes off the world and back on the Lord.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 8:21:52 AM
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buckifn
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quote:
We're looking for fluff (communication skills) in church when this is what we need. If anything is going to come from this I pray it's that He is glorified.
Are you kidding me? Communication skills are "fluff"? If that is true how can you explain prayer which is communicating to God and God communicating to man? Or the reading of His Word? Expository sermons? Any sermon?
We couldn't even interact on this forum if it wasn't for "communication".....if we ever needed communication with others, esp. within our marriage and families it is now.
God has longed for communication with man from the beginning which is 1 reason why Adam and Eve were placed in the garden.
Perhaps what you meant is using words without God's Word is not what we need?
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 8:31:24 AM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
quote:
We're looking for fluff (communication skills) in church when this is what we need. If anything is going to come from this I pray it's that He is glorified.
Are you kidding me? Communication skills are "fluff"? If that is true how can you explain prayer which is communicating to God and God communicating to man? Or the reading of His Word? Expository sermons? Any sermon?
We couldn't even interact on this forum if it wasn't for "communication".....if we ever needed communication with others, esp. within our marriage and families it is now.
God has longed for communication with man from the beginning which is 1 reason why Adam and Eve were placed in the garden.
Perhaps what you meant is using words without God's Word is not what we need?
Communication is a psychobabble buzz-word. Better communication wont save a soul. Salvation might do wonders for a marriage, though.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 9:38:41 AM
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iluvatar
Posts: 2021
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
quote:
We're looking for fluff (communication skills) in church when this is what we need. If anything is going to come from this I pray it's that He is glorified.
Are you kidding me? Communication skills are "fluff"? If that is true how can you explain prayer which is communicating to God and God communicating to man? Or the reading of His Word? Expository sermons? Any sermon?
We couldn't even interact on this forum if it wasn't for "communication".....if we ever needed communication with others, esp. within our marriage and families it is now.
God has longed for communication with man from the beginning which is 1 reason why Adam and Eve were placed in the garden.
Perhaps what you meant is using words without God's Word is not what we need?
Communication is a psychobabble buzz-word. Better communication wont save a soul. Salvation might do wonders for a marriage, though.
My wife and I are both saved, but our marriage has a lot of problems.
Now what?
-Dan.
_____________________________
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 9:43:53 AM
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laura...
Posts: 2916
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
quote:
We're looking for fluff (communication skills) in church when this is what we need. If anything is going to come from this I pray it's that He is glorified.
Are you kidding me? Communication skills are "fluff"? If that is true how can you explain prayer which is communicating to God and God communicating to man? Or the reading of His Word? Expository sermons? Any sermon?
We couldn't even interact on this forum if it wasn't for "communication".....if we ever needed communication with others, esp. within our marriage and families it is now.
God has longed for communication with man from the beginning which is 1 reason why Adam and Eve were placed in the garden.
Perhaps what you meant is using words without God's Word is not what we need?
Communication is a psychobabble buzz-word. Better communication wont save a soul. Salvation might do wonders for a marriage, though.
Romans 10:14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
Souls won't get saved without communicating the gospel.
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This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 9:46:23 AM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iluvatar
My wife and I are both saved, but our marriage has a lot of problems.
Now what?
-Dan.
I read an article recently where a Pastor was saying his only tactic in marriage counselling is to sit them down and say "so, which one of you is sinning?" Thing is, it's always both. Getting in God's Word and living it day in day out is what makes marriage what God intended it to be - not all the silly books with the "wisdom" of the world disguised as "Christian".
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 11:21:36 AM
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Marcus.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
... if you are interested in discussing that, you will be directed to the link below. Thanks!
http://themarriagebed.com Hay Marcus - have you posted a link to that article at the marriage bed? Paul Byerly (the list owner) probably already knows about it but perhaps not. I know he is a big advocate of this very thing.
Tell him DaveW says Hi. (I have the same handle there as well)
I haven't. This is the only message board I spend time at besides my union's.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 12:48:14 PM
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myka
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quote:
Definitely! And I think that was this Pastor's point...we're falling for a counterfeit that's nowhere near as good as what God intended.
I'm not sure that the Pastor's point was to introduce salvation or Jesus into marriages or even spirituality. I think that the Pastor was just promoting a mindset that has gotten very prevalent in our culture today about our sexuality--and he didn't address sin...
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 1:08:33 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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i read this article last year, i guess nytimes is finally catching up lol ... well i like dr. harley's marriage philosophies/books and considering sexual fulfillment on average is #1 emotional need for men and that by meeting emotional needs leads to a happy marriage ... this makes perfect sense
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 1:56:06 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16434
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
Communication is a psychobabble buzz-word. Better communication wont save a soul.
That article isn't talking about salvation...it's talking about a more intimate marriage. Two very different things. People can be saved but have a very dysfunctional marriage.
I doubt very seriously, you'll find one happy and successful marriage where there is no communication. I certainly don't consider communicating and developing a closer relationship with my husband "psychobabble" 
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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 2:40:21 PM
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csl7037
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quote:
Sometimes he reclined on the paisley coverlet while flipping through a Bible, emphasizing his point that it is time for the church to put God back in the bed.
“For some reason the church has not talked about it, but we need to,” he said, speaking by telephone Friday night on his way to South Africa for a mission trip. There is no shame in marital sex, he added, “God thought it up, it was his idea.”
I hear him reclaiming what God designed that's been perverted by the world - there is a salvation message in that. I wasn't in the service, though. If he was using the fluffy stuff of pop-psychology (even Christian pop-psychology) it would've bugged me immensely. Communication skills and thousands of dollars spent on counselling from the world's "wisdom" (regardless of how it's labelled) wont save a marriage, or at least wont make it what God wants it to be . . . only God's Word - repentance and humility will do that. I surely hope he did more than just give his congregation warm fuzzies and cheap thrills and get it in the news. A week of more sex isn't going to change anything, communication or not, unless God is allowed to change hearts.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 3:07:31 PM
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myka
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The world's wisdom says that if we have more sex, we will be happy and fulfilled. I think that this is more of the church just adopting the standards of the world and being 'relevant' instead of being a light to a lost world.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 9:06:35 PM
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iluvatar
Posts: 2021
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
quote:
ORIGINAL: iluvatar
My wife and I are both saved, but our marriage has a lot of problems.
Now what?
-Dan.
I read an article recently where a Pastor was saying his only tactic in marriage counselling is to sit them down and say "so, which one of you is sinning?" Thing is, it's always both. Getting in God's Word and living it day in day out is what makes marriage what God intended it to be - not all the silly books with the "wisdom" of the world disguised as "Christian".
Many of the issues I've faced in my marriage can be directly tied to misunderstandings or misconceptions of one sort or another, often times influenced by what each of else dealt with in our pasts. Problems aren't always the result of sin.
-Dan.
_____________________________
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 9:20:09 PM
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buckifn
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thanks laura...I was gonna ask his response to that fact...but was too amazed that someone thinks communication isn't important to react.
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RE: Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex - 11/26/2008 10:49:42 PM
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leesw
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Sounds like what Joe Beam talks about. The research shows that physically intimacy does increase closeness in relationships.
Another Christian forum to discuss in greater detail the physical aspects of marriage is at the Christian Marriage Forum
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Besides any detail would be irrelevant to the actual practice within a marriage. The basic idea is what is important. 
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